66th Annual Golden Globe Awards (2009)

Host: N/A
Performances: N/A

Description: A less significant version of the Academy Awards, with recognition for the small screen.

Thoughts: What I like about the Golden Globes is that little time is wasted between each award presentation. Conversely, I don’t watch a lot of television, so many of the awards mean absolutely nothing to me. As far as the winners go, the Hollywood Foreign Press made no appalling mistakes (e.g. awarding Clint Eastwood).

Awards: 8
Host: A+ (awarded for not wasting my time by having one)
Presenters: 7
Performances: 0
Enjoyment per minute: 7

TGI Fridays

Description: TGI Fridays is like any other generic chain restaurant; generic menu, generic food, and a generic atmosphere. While generic, it provides a familiar brand in a sea of fish and chicken.

Thoughts: I tried to keep it relatively simple by ordering chicken fingers. Overall, the taste was average. The fries were extremely salty. The most surprising part was the night of puking that was to follow. I think next time I’ll tell them to hold the salmonella.

Atmosphere: 5
Deliciousness: 5
After Effects: -10
Enjoyment per minute: -8

Morrissey – Years of Refusal (2009)

Release Date: 16 February 2009
Genre: Alternative
Standout Tracks: Something Is Squeezing My Head, I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris, When I Last Spoke To Carol, That’s How People Grow Up

Description: Morrissey’s ninth solo album (fifth if you only count the good ones); equally sardonic and melodramatic as the eight preceding it.

Thoughts: I prefer solo Moz over 80′s rock band Moz (guilty as charged) and I’m wondering when Smithonians will acknowledge the death of their beloved Smiths and stop hoping for expecting a reunion.

Enjoyment per minute: 8

Gran Torino (2008)

Director: Clint Eastwood
Writers: Nick Schenk (Screenplay), Dave Johannson (Story), Nick Schenk (Story)
Cast: Clint Eastwood, Other people

Description: After ‘saving’ a young Hmong boy, Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood), a Korean War vet, is forced to discount his racial intolerance in order to protect both himself and his Hmong neighbours.

Thoughts: I don’t know if this movie is supposed to be providing a commentary on racial morality in America, but any effort it makes to show parity amongst different cultures is offset by stereotypes and the portrayal of certain ethnic groups as evil people who can’t act.

Story: 6
Clint Eastwood: 7
Cinematogaphy: 6
Music: 5
Enjoyment per minute: 6

Logitech Harmony One Universal Remote

Description: An activity based infrared (IR) remote that will power multiple components of a home theatre with the touch of a single button, saving both space and energy, and allowing me to be even lazier while I watch television.

Thoughts: Sure it lacks the Bluetooth support required to control my PS3 with ease, but despite it’s complicated feature set, it’s surprisingly easy to setup and its design rivals the sexiness of Warren Buffett’s stock portfolio, or a blonde Asian stripper… you choose.

Design: 9
Functionality: 8
Price: 2
Enjoyment per minute: 8

2008 World Magic Awards (2009)

Host: Neil Patrick Harris
Performances: The Amazing Jonathan, Lance Burton, Hans Klok

Description: A spectacle of magic where ‘celebrities’ I’ve never heard of present a slew of random awards to anyone who agreed to perform on the show.

Thoughts: I’m a sucker for a good illusion, but magic rarely works well on screen, and this was no exception.

Awards: 3
Host: 3
Presenters: 1
Performances: 5
Enjoyment per minute: 4

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Director: Danny Boyle
Writers: Simon Beaufoy (Screenplay), Vikas Swarup (Novel)
Cast: Indian people?

Description: An underdog story that links an impoverished Indian boy’s success on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? with flashbacks to the adverse journey that lead him there.

Thoughts: Without the unique setting, the story would be fairly conventional and easily comparable to much better films like City of God (the best movie ever made), but the acting, score, and Danny Boyle’s consistently perfect directing deliver a more than adequate EPM.

Story: 6
Acting: 8
Cinematogaphy: 9
Music: 8
Enjoyment per minute: 8